Monday 6 April 2009

Belle's Blog - Clothes Maketh the Man

Captain Ahab’s Word for the Day: ‘It’s not the wrong sort of weather, merely the wrong sort of clothes.’

From this you might gather that our spell of sunshine was short lived. We woke this morning to torrential rain and while I rolled over and went back to sleep, grateful for my wet weather exemption, Captain Ahab leapt out of bed, keen to perform a ship’s inspection. Some hours later, when the incessant drone of the engine was impossible to ignore any longer, I hauled myself up, donned what I thought was suitable attire, and stuck my head out of the back hatch. The sight that greeted me was this: Captain Ahab dressed in shorts, sandals and a waterproof jacket with the rain hammering down on his grinning head. I scuttled back to the galley utterly convinced that my bargain pac-a-mac (£5 end of sale, Millets) may not prove to have been such a wise investment after all. From the snatches of the Sex Pistols’s ‘Anarchy’ that came wafting down from the stern I could tell that while a little damp, the Captain was a happy man. Keen to keep this bonne hommie alive I scurried about the galley toasting muffins, grilling sausages and frying eggs. Before long, the number and frequency of locks absolutely necessitated all hands on deck, so I braved the elements in my aforementioned pac-a-mac, a pair of waterproof trousers (free with the pac-a-mac), thick socks and walking boots feeling that I was wearing the most appropriate garb for the day. During the gruelling set of only five but felt like thirty, I was perversely cheered by the knowledge that despite water trickling down my back, seeping through my trousers and squelching between my toes, I must surely be drier than he of the shorts and sandals. However, as I later discovered while I peeled myself out of my sodden garments and cursed the name of pac-a-mac, Captain Ahab was irritatingly warm and dry. It seems that his waterproof jacket was probably made by Ronseal, given that it did exactly what it said. His shorts had dried in the breeze following the downpour and I was mistaken in thinking he was wearing sandals, they were self-draining shoes. So there you have it. Once again the Captain is right, the weather is never wrong, merely the clothes. Note to self – contact Ronseal and enquire about their waterproof range on return to dry land. Either that or feign illness and refuse to leave bed on wet days.